Chaos at Heathrow, as we just about make it onto the plane in time.....
Departure DayGood old reliable Mickey Blu and his trustworthy Mini Bus was booked for the journey down, an early morning start of around half 5 was not helped by the goodbye night we had on the Thursday before departure. A Night out down town could have turned rather unfortunate as a run in with PC Tony Stamp and his mates threatened to see me in the cells on the morning of departure, rather than heading to Heathrow.
I wasn't involved with anything violent mind, just my rather waggly tongue trying to be funny to mister constable and his friends, perhaps too much of the high spirits me thinks. Luckily one's more sensible brother was on hand to defuse any tension, and I could go home to a rather comfortable 3 and a half hours kip before the bus arrived. I suppose the idea of going out the night before, was not just to say bye to everyone (anyone would think that we were emigrating!), but to knock ourselves out for the long journey ahead.
We arrived at Heathrow on the Friday morning, bright and breezy and most definitely fog bound. I tried my hand at waving at some television camera as we were promptly shoved into a tent and completely forgotten about, with the only person to show an interest being Channel 4 News, with a Norris from
None of the other members were remotely interested in getting on camera, but having a face that would suit a prime time news programme, I suitable obliged and thrust myself forward. I am the original 'media whore'! I did have great doubts though that the actual interview made it onto the news, especially as I'd forgotten where I was traveling to when put on the spot.
Indeed once I returned, I just couldn't resist but look at old news footage on the tinternet, SAD I know, but when your on screen it makes for a good scrap book to look back on later in life. Alas my fears about being overlooked were to ring true and I couldn't see images of myself!
Despite time getting on, information as to where and when we could go into the main building was sparse to say the least, in fact I'd go as far as to say, it was bloody non exsistance. Eventually the tugging of an important man in a tie resulted is us being told 'oh yes sir, you should have gone through a while ago', great we all thought, what utter rubbish! 
The 1st thing to hit you about Heathrow is that quite frankly it is a dump, a bit of a pigs ear of an airport. There is chaos, chaos and more chaos, and not one bit of organization in the place, but apart from that it is a marvelous triumph of British enterprise.
|
Eventually after much frantic finger pointing and waving about, we managed to get into a queue that would check us in. The fact that the rest of the flight was actually boarding at the time was of some slight concern, and once the spotty teenager behind the desk realized this also, the tempo seemed to increase and we were checked in and rushed through the endless security checkpoints, taking out of our hand luggage any container over 1 inch tall.
Just one final point on Heathrow for the time being, they don't have individual check in desks for each flight, it appeared to be one great big 4 mile queue to join endless pointless check in desks, the words crap and pile of bag of shite spring to mind, other than that I was quite impressed with our mornings entertainment.
One express toilet stop later, and it was virtually lock stock and smoking barrel onto the plane and into the seat that we would occupy for some 10 or so hours.
After only going on short haul flights, I didn't really know what to expect in the way of creature comforts on board. Our party of 6 were somewhat spread all over the plane, I suspect in part due to the massive cock up of checking in. Dave looked to be sat with the pilot, whilst Scott was sat with the quietest lad in the world. Luckily for Gregg, he had managed to sit next to someone who drank just as much as him, whilst the remaining three were all sat together.
As I said, I didn't know what was going to happen within the cabin whilst we were airbourne, I half expected the odd free drink, but what I didn't expect was the reality that unfolded. Firstly we had a round of drinks, then another, then another then yet one more as the meals were being served. Surely they wouldn't be getting everyone tanked up mid flight, but then it dawned on me as the lights finally dimmed and the staff retreated to their quarters, that it was a few drinks to knock you out, then let you sleep it off.
One woman sat a few rows in front had other idea's though, and proceeded to raid the now unguarded wine trolley for the remainder of the journey. I meanwhile kept nodding and enjoying the in flight entertainment until it was meal time again, before 10 hours suddenly seemed like none at all, and we landed in Hong Kong.
Rather stupidly during meal times I had not wanted to waste anyone's left over Wine from the meal, so proceeded to polish them off, and ended up a little worse for wear by the time we had landed.
---------------------
You can Download the Full Version of the Ashes Diary (for free!) at:
(Right Click: Save Target As...)
http://www.stagsmad.co.uk/AshesDiary.pdf
